Parenting on Paul Nystrom

Talk to Strangers

Sun, 01 Feb 2026 00:00:00 +0000

I have four kids who are now in high school and out of the house. When my two oldest were very young, I read some books by Gavin de Becker. The first was called The Gift of Fear, and it changed the way I think about what I teach my kids.

Very early on, we taught them to talk to strangers—it’s the opposite of the advice I grew up with. I encourage you to check out the books, but one of the main points is that we model talking to strangers all the time. So it’s better to teach your kids which strangers are okay to talk to rather than have them grow up unable to talk to anyone—especially including someone when they actually need to ask for help.

I want to go to the doctor.

Tue, 27 Jan 2026 00:00:00 +0000

I saw a 5-year-old recently with viral illness symptoms. The parents seemed pretty well educated. By the end of the visit, we had had a very good conversation about what was going on with their child, what we did in the ER, and what to expect. However, the start of the conversation when I first met them was not impressive.

The mom started by telling me about the symptoms the child had been having over the preceding few days. This consisted of typical viral URI and GI symptoms. I was thinking to myself that all of this sounded very reasonable. But then Mom said something that made me deduct 40 IQ points from her. Besides the parents’ concerns that prompted the ER visit, they said their 5-year-old had said he wanted to go to the doctor.

Middleman

Sat, 06 Sep 2025 00:00:00 +0000

Besides employers placing ER doctors in the middle of decisions about a patient’s return to work, we also get caught between divorced parents and between parents and their children. This includes parents with minor children as well as parents of adult children. I can tell you that no ER doctor wants to be in the middle of these situations.

In high-conflict situations, it’s tempting to want someone else to solve the problem for you. In high-conflict divorce cases, this often involves one parent bringing the child to the ER for a very minor complaint. The story typically begins with, “Well, they just came back from their dad’s…” or “Mom had them for the weekend…” When I hear that, I know where this is going. The child usually has a minor issue, such as a cough, a stomach bug, a bug bite, mild upper respiratory infection (URI) symptoms, or vague pain. Almost never does the child have a significant medical complaint that warrants an ER visit.